Thursday, December 27, 2012


Well this was the best freakin' Christmas week that I have EVER had. 

We received our BFP this week after taking an HPT. WOOOOHOOO!!

We also had our beta on 12/26 and HCG levels were 1,037!!! 


Before receiving our BFP, I assumed that once we received it - if we ever did on this crazy journey - that all worries would cease...NIEVE much??   If anything now I am even more worried over every twinge and worrying nonstop that all is progressing as it should....I am so thankful our doc is over protective while still in his care (until end of 1st tri) that he has us in weekly for blood work and u/s to keep an eye on things. 

AND in my typical anil fashion, I have purchased a few more HPTs so I can test whenever I feel the need. Waste of money I know but at least it can help cut down on the worry. (in theory at least!)

Praying and hoping nonstop!!!!!!!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Ob-la-di - ob-la-da

To be sucks. I am in such a funk that I cannot kick. 

I am having AF like cramps and totally bummin over it. I know that this all could be related to my bod just getting back to normal after the mass amount of shots this past few weeks but it is quite disheartening....

I spoke to the doc to get a refill on the prog oil and I asked about these cramps and pretty much, I just have to suck it up and wait....They did say I can test early (before my blood PG test on the 26th) so we will do a HPT on the 23/24th....Never before have I wished and hoped for something so so much............

Going to try and shake this funk. Deep breath.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Food for thought.

A wise person passed along this quote to me today....

"If some good thing is going to happen you will face little bad things before..."

I need to remind myself of this a lot these days as I CANNOT stop worrying about how last weeks pain may have affected our IVF this cycle...Everything was so perfect...our blastocysts were beautiful and strong....all numbers were perfect..until the pain started....which cut into the 24 hour bed rest as well as my mental state of staying relaxed...

Keeping on hoping...

Blood work & worrying.

Bright and early this a.m. I was off to get blood work taken. Completely unrelated to the hospital stay this past week...This was scheduled to check progesterone and estrogen levels.

I got to chat w/ one of our awesome nurses @ MLF who assured me that none of the events from this past week could affect our embryos...I effin hope she is right. She really thinks the pain was caused from bleeding in the right ovary as a result of the retrieval the prior Saturday. I do not care what the cause and I will go through it again if needed as long as this cycle is a success.....

Trying not to worry but it is impossible not to. Luckily, I have been pain free since Saturday evening and taking NO pain meds. 

Fingers crossed nonstop. It would be such an amazing Christmas blessing to have this be our month. 

Deep breath. 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Lots to tell....

Well it has been an effin roller coaster the past 48 hours...

Our ET was on Thursday at 11am and was perfect....We transferred 2 beautiful embryos and froze 3 other perfect lil guys...

We came home for our 24 bed rest and a few hours later I was SLAMMED with terrible pain in my right ovary area...It was effin HELL. The pain led to vomiting and seriously, just agony. I got through the night and the next morning woke up feeling slightly better...then BAM! pain back again ..... Around 11am I could not take it anymore so off to the ER we went. The ER is about 10 mins away but that ride felt like it took 3 effin hours..I was hurting so bad. MAJOR props to the wifey for keeping her cool and getting us there! 

We had been on the phone w/ our RE a few times and we were getting advice that was USELESS. They recommend to take some tums....EFFIN TUMS FOR AGONY? I might as well eat a damn tic tac because it will have the same affect. 

So off we went...the ER staff were amazing....they hustled me some strong narcotics in me which eased the pain...the day continued with pain coming back approx 30 mins after I was given the pain liver must of been pumping that shit through as it was not long lasting! The day also was filled with tests, blood work, more puking, more pain, trans-vag and regular u/s, a lot of waiting, more puking, more pain. 

The staff was great and made sure that all meds they were giving me would not affect our embryos. I am still praying nonstop that this round of IVF was not affected by this sickness? illness? not sure what to call it as they are not sure what exactly was going on.

I was admitted and stayed over night where as soon as we got settled in our room the pain meds took a turn for the worst and made me BEYOND ITCHY. Uncontrollably itchy. So a double dose of benadryl was given THANK GOD as that helped me get a few hours of snoozin last night. 

Once discharged this morning, we headed right to the RE for another u/s and to discuss an overview of what all occurred. He thinks I had a blood filled follicle left over from retrieval that was leaking into my ovary and uterus that eventually burst...Not 100% sure....He was an amazing help and offered some assurance that this did not affect the embryos...but I am still beyond worried...

I kept thinking to myself that this is all worth it for our soon to be present bambino and I still believe that even if this is not part of the "routine" IVF process - I would go through it again and again to have our lil bambino with us someday soon. 

Major deep breath needed and positive thoughts more than ever...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

4 day old embryos

Well our lil embies are 4 days old. 

UNFORTUNATELY, our embryologist does not give a day 4 update...I wish I could call and just find out what is going on but they told me yesterday they like to let them rest from the end of day 3 to day 5 so I'll stay busy...and try to stop thinking and worrying...but thats pretty much impossible.....

We are heading in tomorrow at 10:30 then 24 hours of bed rest... then a busy effin weekend which I am thankful for so I STOP WORRYING....It is out of our control now...all we can do is keep up on our meds, eat healthy, get lots of sleep, and hope hope hope and pray pray pray that this will be successful. 

Erin and I have both been guilty of reading TOO much online...the mix of horror and success stories is astounding.

Never before hoped for something so much...sounding like a broken record I know....Hoping and wishing nonstop.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Implantation THURSDAY!

Well, our lil embryos are now 3 days old!! 

Talked to our embryologist this morning and all NINE of our embryos are progressing!!!!! All have split into 6-8 cells and all are grades A and B....

I have never put so much of my thoughts, hopes, and prayers into one thing before. 

Hoping this is our month SO much...Positive thoughts!!!!

Monday, December 10, 2012

Day 2 post retrieval

Just heard from our embryologist for our day 2 update. 

The 9 eggies are doing great - all have split into 2-4 cells and we are tentatively scheduling transfer for tomorrow morning at 9am however, around 7am the doc and embryologist will meet and assess the eggies and decide if a day 5 transfer would be better and if that is the case, we will reschedule for Thursday.

NOW...the waiting continues...I am doing all I can to stop googling...stop thinking...just relax and focus on anything else but holy shit, it is hard!! This is all I can think about....

I think I'll go walk the dog..that will take care of the next 5 minutes.

Deep breath. 

Sunday, December 9, 2012


Retrieval went PERFECT on Saturday...It gives me so much hope that we are in such capable, caring hands of our doc and nurses..they are all so amazing...

The actual retrieval was quick and amusing...I remember going under anesthesia talking to the anesthesiologist about martinis and that is the extent of my memory! Apparently, we discussed martinis and margaritas and I woke up 30 mins later talking to my pup who obvi was no where around...We all got a good laugh at my drugged self and I took a quick snooze then was good to go for the rest of the day. 

15 eggs retrieved

Found out today that 9 of the 15 are mature eggs

the 9 have been fertilized! 

Now the waiting...wishing..and hoping...

The lab calls everyday with an update ... I WISH it could be a hourly update - as unrealistic as that is...I just cannot stop worrying and wishing and hoping..I know I sound like a broken record...This is just consuming me! 

I feel some pain/discomfort today but nothing terrible...absolutely 100000% worth it for our lil bambino to join us hopefully someday VERY soon. 

We have started our progesterone oil shots..which the wifey is doing perfectly! Almost no pain at lucky to have someone who is willing to stick me numerous times a day with a needle esp when she typically faints during conversations that focus on medical procedures :)

Keeping on the wishing and hoping...NONSTOP! 

Thursday, December 6, 2012


Talked to the doc - blood work is perfect - we are ready to go for retrieval on Saturday!!!

We will be triggering tonight at 8pm...def feeling the nerves for this one as it is the first intramuscular shot we have to do...I know that in no time we will be professionals at them but got some nerves for the first one.

I am sure the less than 48 hours between now and Saturday will feel like eternity but it is so exciting how we are moving along through this journey. 

I have so much hope and excitement and am so scared for this...scared that if it does not work - the thousands of questions as to why!?! HOWEVER, when this DOES work..I cannot even express the joy that we will be consumed with! 

Deep breath. and keeping up the HOPE.

Day 8

More blood work and another u/s this morning....all moving along big news yet as I will not know our next step until they get the results of my blood work this afternoon but the nurse is thinking that we will HCG trigger tonight...and have egg retrieval Saturday. However, if that is not the case then, I'll head back to the office tomorrow for more blood work and another u/s and trigger tomorrow night with retrieval Sunday...So much info!! 

I really think that one highlight of being over anal (as I am) is that when you go through IVF, you have EVERYTHING written down and organized...if I wasn't so anal, I probs would be giving myself intra-muscular shots when I was supposed to be doing subcutaneous or messing up in one way or the other! 

I am stressing about the 'what-ifs' of the egg retrieval. What if there are not any eggs? My follicles look amazing (per the u/s tech) but that is no guarantee. 
We have had 4 failed IUI's that were timed perfectly...what if something is wrong with me and that is why they didn't work? 
Doc assures me all is okay...but I cannot help but worry...I want the retrieval to get here just so I can stop worrying about egg quality!!

We have a wedding Saturday night and even though that is close to retrieval, the nurse gave me permission to have a few beverages..I am HOPING that these will be my last beverages for a WHILE...hopefully about 9 months ;)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Moving along....

Back at doc again today! I had my lil dude in tow which of course adds excitement paired w/ stress to the trip! He snoozed for a lil bit of the appt then woke up and was in a MOOD. Lil man screamed, cried, grunted, pooped, screamed some more. Luckily, the nurses at MLF are amazing and kept him entertained while I was in the stirrups. 

All is moving along QUICKLY! We are on day 7 of injections and doc thinks that egg retrieval will be this weekend. 

Thus far, we have approx 17 follies....all measuring b/t 10 and 20....They want me back again tomorrow for another u/s and more blood work then back again friday as well with egg retrieval Saturday or Sunday.....then 3-5 days until implantation.

Of course I am stressing about one thing...IF we have a Saturday retrieval....and IF it is a 3 day wait before implantation - that means it will be implantation on Tuesday which I cannot do! Tuesday I have 3 papers due and a presentation at 430pm that I CANNOT miss.....Granted I am stressing off of a lot of unknowns and what if's...I'll just keep hoping that implantation is any day but Tuesday...then of course, keep hoping that it works and we find out we are pregnant in the next few weeks!! 

All will work out....Positive thinking and positive vibes nonstop! Deep breath.

Monday, December 3, 2012

The journey continues....

Another doc appt for blood work and u/s this morning and all is going great and right on schedule. 

We have about 7 follies on the right and 9 on the left - all measuring between 8cm and 15cm. Starting Ganirelix today in addition to our daily Menopur and Bravelle shots. Definitely feeling like a pin cushion over here but this is all so worth it....

Back to the doc again on Wednesday....HcG trigger will most likely be this weekend with retrieval early next week...Exciting times to come!!! Beyond excited for every step of this process! Still stressing about how I am going to balance end of semester-time-consuming-hell with work and all these doc the 24 hour bed rest after implantation but all will work out as it comes!! 

and per doc orders...I will enjoy being a lazy ass the next few weeks ;)

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Laughter tears

Our first injection went perfect. The wifey did amazing - obvi had some nerves over hurting me which resulted in nonstop laughter and laughter tears throughout the entire experience - was amazing. I would post the vid but it is on the wifeys phone - I'll get it up eventually. 

Back to the doc tomorrow! Then probably again early next week...I still need to figure out this whole work situation with having doc appts every other day...

We are off to get our Christmas tree tonight...Such a great time of year this is..I LOVE it..the only thing that would make it perfect is having a bambino to share our lives with..... but for now we will enjoy hoodies, snow, winter beers, smuggling...not to mention the abundance of weekend trips we have planned to see the Rocketts, the Nutcracker - all plans are pending our IVF cycle which we will not know definitely until we get further into this cycle but if we have to miss anything - it will be well worth it on this journey towards meeting our bambino.

and I am sure a snowboarding trip in there at some point but HOPEFULLY I will be sidelined this can dream :) 

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Day 1

Our appt yesterday was fantastic! We had the most amazing IVF nurse break down all of our injections for us - THANK JEEBUS because all the mixing and injecting definitely would have had my confused if it wasn't for this appt. 

We also had our first IVF u/s. I was on cycle day 1 and the nurse was happy w/ what she saw! We will be back again on Friday (cycle day 4) for u/s and blood work. 

She also asked what our history was and we explained 4 unsuccessful IUI's, clomid, ovidrel, etc and she told us that it can be very difficult to ever get prego on clomid with the IUI success rates being so low. We told her how we discussed moving to IUI w/ injectables but decided to come right to IVF since it has such higher success rates. She loved and agreed w/ our decision 100% which is beyond comforting as this IVF journey is INTENSE! 

Even though we have been patients at our fertility clinic for months now, IVF is a complete different ball game. Different nurses...different schedules.... ALL are wonderful - just an adjustment to make. I will miss my IUI nurses! 

and we're off!!! This is OUR month :))

Tuesday, November 27, 2012


To start off I have to reiterate that I am loving that we are on this journey of making our still feels surreal at times. Every day I think about the day when we will meet our bambino and begin our journey as parents. 

I am lucky that I work part time while I am working on my Masters full time so my schedule is some-what flexible. And by flexible, I mean I usually have Fridays off and typically my cycle has put me in the doc on Fridays so it has been easy. Now, with IVF, all that will change and I still don't know how I am going to balance work and doc appts every other day but deep breath - it will all work out. 

I can not fathom being on this journey while working full time. It feels as if everyday there are appointments!!!! Whether its a doc appt for blood work and u/s, or an appt at Quest for blood work and a pee test, getting scripts filled, phone calls weekly to our insurance and prescription company. I cannot imagine making these calls from an office, sitting in my cubicle, talking on the phone about what cycle day I am on and how the hormones are giving me hot flashes and the huge injection needle that needs to get administered into my butt tonight. It is NONSTOP!

Luckily, my extreme anil-ness allows me to successfully get everything done and keep organized but crap - it is a lot!

Another the heck does anyone pee in that little cup without peeing on their hand? I am becoming a seasoned veteran at this and still cannot master the skill. 

This is all worth it to one day meet our amazing, lil bambino :)

Monday, November 26, 2012


Well the dreaded BFN popped up this past weekend when I tested 11 days post IUI...and AF today....

So here we are kickin off our IVF journey...Appt tomorrow to learn about giving myself injections...and injections should start tomorrow or Wednesday...

I know I have said it before but this is such an amazing, roller-coaster of a journey that we are on...I never imagined that we would go down the IVF path but here we are...We are confident, scared, and excited all rolled into one...

Deep breath. 

Monday, November 19, 2012

6 days post-IUI #4

Per the usual, this 2ww feels like the LONGEST 2 weeks of our lives. Thankfully we have been overly busy w/ work, school, travels to see friends and family that while that 'what-if' is always on our minds, we have been doing great at keeping busy and keeping the stress down!

Erin still swears this time is it...and I want to agree w/ her so much! I just do not know...maybe after the past 3 failed IUI's it is hard to muster up that much hope? I feel completely normal - which I know is no indication of if it was success or not but I wish there was some sign that could happen to give me a hint of the outcome - whether it be negative or positive. 

I have been exhausted lately which I blame on the fact that I decided to work on 2 Masters degrees at once and take on 4 classes plus work plus life but I LOVE it.

We keep talking about what an amazing journey we are on and so lucky we are to have each other on this journey...

I am beyond lucky. 

Here's to hoping for a BFP this month!!! 

Thursday, November 15, 2012


Before dawn this morning we were on the road to our IVF orientation. It is only about 30 minutes away but with the standard, daily, unexplainable Philly traffic it has taken us over an hour somedays so at 5:40a.m. we were out the door! 

We had an amazing nurse who told us everything we needed to know and was beyond helpful and informative. I learned so much in only an hour of my life! Such a process IVF is. We are still HOPING that we will not have to cross that bridge but at least if we do, we know what we are doing.

After the appt, I spent over an hour on the phone w/ our insurance company and prescription plan company to see what we are and are not covered for.  All I can now say is that we are unbelievably lucky! The majority of IVF will be covered for us!!!! Oh happy dance!! :)  If it were not covered, we would not be proceeding with it as the injectable meds run about $8,000 a month. I do not get how anyone can afford this!!! It seems unimaginable! My heart goes out to everyone TTC via IVF who hit this financial road block.... 

We are so lucky and I am so beyond thankful that we are covered. Out of the IVF injectable meds (Lupron, Bravelle, Follistim, Gonal F, and Menopur) all are covered except Lupron. Not sure why that one is not covered but hopefully one of the other four will work for us! 

So that is where we are at on this journey! 

Spending all of our time hoping for our BFP this month!! 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012


2 days into IUI #4 2ww and feeling great...keeping hopes high and positive thoughts nonstop!!

Tomorrow we are going for our IVF orientation JUST IN CASE...

Going tomorrow for orientation will mean that we will be ready to take our first IVF attempt next month, if needed. We will be meeting w/ a nurse and given a tour of the facility and have blood work taken, etc etc. Should be a great experience to learn so much about a practice that my info is very limited on.

It still seems surreal that we are on this journey...I think back to our first appointment with our fertility doc and it feels like years ago...when really it was just about 6 months ago..but still we have learned so much in the past 6 months and grown so much...We have dreamed of it being our month..and hopefully this month is it!!

We are going away next weekend for our anniversary and we will find out if this IUI took the day we are leaving ... fingers crossed we will be celebrating!!! 

Tuesday, November 13, 2012


IUI #4 went off flawlessly! Timing was perfect and I was ovulating per what the ultrasound showed as we were in the office. Major props to our fertility doc for keeping such a close eye on us. The past 3 IUI's have been timed perfectly. 

THIS WILL WORK...keep saying it over and over again in my head. I am off to get acupuncture again this afternoon...My acupuncturist is a huge advocate of pre and post treatments which I love as I feel it does relax and cause me to take a step back and get myself centered. Also, any increased blood flow to the uterus is more than welcome to help this bambino :)

I feel good post-IUI...crampy and would rather spend the day lounging around but the duties of life are calling! 

So we are about 3 hours into the 2ww and we are ALREADY over anxious and going silly, crazy to find out if this is OUR MONTH! 

Later this week we have an appt with the IVF specialists to learn more about IVF and tour the facility as just in case this is not our month, we will proceed with IVF next month.

Fingers crossed....hoping nonstop....


Monday, November 12, 2012


Appointment yesterday went great! Still a bit early - LH was at 11.2  - typically ovulation begins when LH is around a 12 so tomorrow is the day! 
Acupuncture appointment tonight and will be having broc with dinner and surprisingly I am still not sick of it.

Even if there is no major scientific evidence to support that broc or any of these fertility boosting foods that I have been ingesting really help with the success of IUI's - It helps me feel better about it and has caused me to be more conscious about what I am putting into my bod  .... doing everything with our bambino in mind :)

We have discussed further our options if this IUI does not work and have decided that we will move onto IVF. We are beyond lucky and our insurance will cover 4 IVFs. Obvi we still will have to buy our sperm but insurance stepping in is making a HUGE difference. They also cover IUI's so this IUI will be covered. 
While our financial situation does not dictate this journey we are on, it helps out a great deal to not have to be as concerned about money.

Outside of doc appts we are loving life and having a great time....we keep imagining that maybe this NYE we will just hang at home as we will be prego...or how maybe we will be able to give everyone a Christmas surprise of telling them we are seems like a dream that someday soon we may be able to do that....

I feel different this IUI. Not sure why but the wifey agreed that she did too...maybe over optimistic? maybe just thinking positive! or maybe this is OUR TURN!


Saturday, November 10, 2012

4th IUI update

Appointment Friday went well! Still early - as expected! 

3 follies on the left measuring 13,12,9 and 1 on the right measuring 19.

Heading back tomorrow for another u/s and blood work and possible IUI depending on blood work results from yesterday..

We discussed w/ our doc what our next step will be if this IUI does not work - IVF or injectables? Our amazing doc who treats us as if we were his daughters advised to move on to injectables so that is the course we will HOPEFULLY not have to take as this WILL BE our month!!!!!

Will update after tomorrow's appt! Such an exciting journey this is :)

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

4 more years!

While this seems like the LONGEST wait for a Dr. appt EVER, at least this is an amazing and memorable week in taking strides towards our country getting stronger and your Mommy and I being able to be legally married!!!

2 more days until our first appt for IUI #4....u/s and blood work then IUI to follow...cannot come soon enough!!!! 

Hoping this is OUR month :)

Monday, November 5, 2012

Keep Calm and Carry On

Why does the wait between getting your BFN to when you go back to the doctor to try again this month feel like a WEEKS upon WEEKS! 

But here we are...first u/s in 4 days - which will be early so I think we will be back Sunday for another check...then IUI possibly Monday or Tuesday. 

The increased level of Clomid is not affecting me at all. A few hot flashes here and there - a small price to pay for hopefully bringing our bambino into this world soon! 

Hopefully this week goes by quick...

Thursday, November 1, 2012


So, I'm here at work smuggling this my lil 'charge' and omg baby snuggles = amazingness. Such an amazing feeling keeping this lil dude so warm as he falls to sleep on me.
I CANNOT wait to be smuggling on my own lil bambino...and especially cannot wait to see my wifey smuggling our lil bambino.
Such an amazing feeling I am sure it is going to be! 

Starting Clomid aka hot flash pills tomorrow! First u/s in a week - fingers crossed for big, strong follies and a successful IUI to follow! 

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Plan for #4

Here we are again....gearing up for another IUI! 

Still sad and having trouble moving past the failed 3rd IUI however .... all wonderful things take time! and patience! and faith! All that we do have...granted we need reminders at times but overall, we are holding strong! 

I will be on Clomid for CD's 4-8. Taking 5 pills a day for cycle days 4,5, and 6 and 4 pills for cycle days 7 and 8. That is the highest dose I have ever been on and I am all for trying new techniques - but those hot flashes (luckily my ONLY side effect of Clomid) will be stroooooong! 

First u/s and blood-work will be on November 9th which is cycle day 11 - slightly early but doc wants to be sure he does not miss this ovulation. 
I bet we will be back in on Sunday the 11th - cycle day 13 for u/s and blood-work then possible IUI depending on how the follies are doing....

Outside of our bambino journey, we survived the hurricane! Guinness and some delic potato leek soup helped us through! Thinking of all of those who lost their homes and lives....

We are heading to the mountains this weekend for some time around the campfire, delic food, and great company!

Kickin off the next step of this journey with excitement and high hopes!! xx

Monday, October 29, 2012


2 weeks post IUI...took a that Big F&$%in Negative.

I went to the wifey with suggestions of lets get a second opinion from a different doctor....let's try something new...
She has given me hope that this was only our 3rd try and these things take time...
So here we are onto try #4 and if this once is unsuccessful, we will move on to get a second opinion from another fertility doc...

Such a journey this is.....

I am overwhelmed with feeling sorry for myself and sad that this time did not work...but still hopeful...and I know that all things take time.
Deep breath. 

Sunday, October 21, 2012

6 days post IUI

Well, here we are 6 days post IUI and I do have to say that I wish I was feeling different...feeling something...ANYTHING! 

I feel 100000% normal as always. I know this does not necessarily mean that our IUI was unsuccessful but it is easy to get discouraged..

Just need to keep on keepin on and hope for the best...

I am in FL this week with family and we are doing the whole Disney World thaaang and I cannot help but keep hoping that one day SOON instead of coming here as an Aunt (which I LOVE doing) that I will be here with my children....Such a journey this is to get to that place.....

Sending out positive wishes to everyone who is on this journey!!!


Saturday, October 20, 2012

Off to FL.

I'm heading out of town for the next week which is a welcomed break. I will have to wait to test until I return on the 28th to see if this IUI is successful.

Will be hoping and wishing and praying nonstop that we get some sign that this time is THE one! 

I'm leaving the wifey at home with our furbabies - going to miss her so much!!! 

I'll update as soon as back HOPEFULLY with amazing news


Thursday, October 18, 2012


After doing probably TOO much reading online, I have been increasing my make-me-fertile-foods over the past while in particular - BROCCOLI. 

I do love this tree shaped vegetable and so far this week I have eaten it everyday and plan on keeping that going but holy hell - am I SO SICK of it or what!??!   

I ate so much broccoli 2 nights ago that I almost did not have enough room left to eat a bowl of vanilla bean ice cream. Don't worry I soldiered on and enjoyed a huge bowl but still the broccoli is filling me up! 

This is all worth it in the journey of making our lil bambino :)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Quick thoughts.

Even though we are only 1 day post IUI I still cannot stop thinking about you! I am hoping nonstop that this time is successful! More than I can say! I am so excited and anxious to move to the next phase of this journey of making you.
Your other Mommy has been amazing to me - making sure I am warm and comfy and cooking delicious dinners :) We both are so excited for you....
wishing and hoping nonstop!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Tres x2

After my post yesterday I got a call from our doc and he said to come in for another IUI to increase our chances. So bright and early this morning - off we went back to the fertility clinic for another IUI. 

Timing was perfect - as soon as we arrived, we had another u/s and it showed I have ovulated already - yay! Sometime between 9am Monday and 8am Tuesday I ovulated. We had 1 IUI at 9am Monday and the next at 8am Tuesday. Cryogenic sperm lives approx 24 hours and the egg is fertile for approx 24 hours SO fingers crossed!! 
Praying for our positive! 

I also got acupuncture this month before both IUI's. Hoping that this will increase blood flow to the uterus and help our chances of getting our BFP!

This time was extra special because he asked Erin to inject the specimen - very cool for both of us :)

I'll definitely update as we proceed and spend the next few weeks waiting and praying!!


Monday, October 15, 2012


This morning we had our 3rd IUI.
All was timed perfectly...I was ovulating pretty much as the IUI was happening.

Now we wait....

Will take a test in 2 weeks-ish.....We know how hard waiting the full 2 weeks can be!

Doc has my on progesterone for the next week and that makes the girls sore but it is well worth it on this journey!

Praying and hoping nonstop that this month its our turn to move into the next step of this journey....

Outside of praying for our bambino we are busy w/ family weddings, work, school work, and life - all good stuff :) Hoping to add a bambino to our mix soon :)

I am psyched for the cooler weather that is approaching. LOVE the fall and snow in the winter and snowboarding - but hopefully this year I'll be sidelined :)

However you pray - please pray that this IUI is successful and puts us further on the path of being parents!

Wishing and Hoping nonstop....


Saturday, October 13, 2012

Here we goooooo

Welp - Doc appt yesterday was great - slightly early as suspected - back tomorrow for another u/s and BW to see if I am surging - if I am, IUI immediately - if not, IUI Monday morning. Such a journey this is! 

Erin and I have been having great times going out to dinners and enjoying life - it's been a blast and we are hoping to add our lil bambino to the mix asap. While this journey is tasking on us - both mentally and financially - we are staying as optimistic as possible and hoping for the best!!  with the best being a successful IUI in the near future followed by the miracle of a bambino :)

Will update after tomorrow....fingers crossed and positive thoughts!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


Well here we are waiting for try #3. I am trying to think optimistic that this will not just be a try - but will be the time that WORKS!
Doc appt is 2 days away. 
Acupuncture tomorrow night to prep...
At doc appt we will have u/s to check on follies and blood-work....IUI will be soon after..probably Sunday or Monday.
I am hoping and wishing for you more than ever....I suppose with each failed IUI (2) the desire gets even stronger. 
Unfortunately, so does the why me's?/frustrations/sadness BUT thinking positive that this will work and soon we will be expecting our lil bambino. 
Just stopped by to check in...I will update after appt Friday...
positive thoughts nonstop...happy thoughts nonstop...hopeful thoughts nonstop...

Monday, October 1, 2012

Onto try #3....

Much to our surprise...this IUI failed and AF showed up today. So here we go onto try #3....will be starting clomid on day 3 and appt on the 12th with IUI soon after....

still hoping nonstop. this really is quite a roller-coaster ride. while we know there are no guarantees - our hopes are still up every month. particularly this last month as even the doctors and nurses were so convinced it would take.....but taking it in strides ... moving forward and hoping and praying nonstop....

I think this month its time to buckle down and focus 100% on this....I always eat veggies and eat pretty decent but maybe its time to up that and stop the drinking....and just focus on this.....because its what I/we want more than anything....

still thinking about you and cant wait to meet you .......

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


Tested this morning - got the BIG FAT NEGATIVE. However I am renaming BFP - BIG F&*KING NEGATIVE because it is THAT disheartening....

So bummed and disappointed. It is still early  - only 10 days post IUI - so maybe there is still hope - maybe?

still praying....

Thursday, September 20, 2012


Well, we are still here in the 2ww. We are only 4 days post IUI (5 days if you count from Saturday) Such a stressful wait. We both are praying and hoping nonstop that we have succeeded this time. 

Part of me thinks to myself "how could this time NOT work? Everything was perfect."  But I need to remind myself that it still is a process and there are no guarantees....but I cannot help but to keep thinking about and praying for you....

Your Mommy and I got a new king size bed - perfect for you to fit in bed with us :)

Keeping on wishing and hoping....


Monday, September 17, 2012

Wishing and Hoping...

This past weekend we took try #2

Everything was aligned perfect - 2 follicles both at a great size (over 20!) HCG surge on Friday - first IUI Saturday at 830am - back Sunday morning for ultrasound and I had ovulated and we did a second IUI to increase the chances. The "ponds" were ready! 

The nurses were beyond optimistic so we are wishing and hoping that this time works.... 

We cannot wait to continue on the journey of you....

Fingers crossed...wishing and hoping! 

Friday, August 31, 2012

Next steps....

Well, we had our first IUI and it was unsuccessful ... so here we are in moving on in the process of making you. We are sad but we knew that the chances of success are so slim so now we are getting the wheels moving on try #2. We still think about you all the time and talk about you all the time.....I'll update once we know the plan for this coming month. xo

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Excitement and Nerves.

Well we have an appointment with the doc in only 3 days and hopefully soon after that we will take our first chance at making you. I am so excited - beyond words excited to create you and also scared if we go through hardships in making you. We are thinking positive and being realistic.

I am already thinking about life with you and how much you will bring to our lives. I think about our lil apartment and how much we are moving and changing things to make it the best place for you. I picture your mommy squeezing you and kissing you and being WAY over protective of you. We can not wait to have you in our lives.

We fall asleep at night thinking about you. I am hoping so much that we can create you soon. While I don't pray and still am not sure who I believe in up there but whoever it is I am hoping with all that I am and all that I have that they help us in this journey and bring you to us soon.

Love you already.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Family ties

Your mommy told you the other day that We got engaged!! I'm so excited and so happy that our family is becoming "official". 

I am so happy that I get to spend the rest of my life with your mommy and you when you decide to come along. 

I sit and daydream about what life will be like when you come along, I can't wait to have so many new experiences with you and mommy. We are going to have a blast!!! 

We will make an AMAZING family. 

It has been so nice having so many people congratulating us on our engagement and giving us so much love and support. The world is turning into a better place right before our eyes. I think that we might even be able to be legally married in the next 5 or 10 years! 

Your Mommy and I faced a little bit of negativity and jealousy, but we know better than to let that get us down. We know the bond we have is special, and precious, and unbreakable. And when you come into our lives, that bond will be made stronger. And I'm going to do my best to make sure that the world you come into is a more open and accepting and loving place than it is even today.

Call me

The summer Olyimpics are on right now, so your mommy and I are watching a lot of swimming and diving and beach volleyball. we're also having a lot of conversations about what we are going to name you! in the spirit of the olympics, I teased your mommy and asked if we can name you Apollo Connor :-) i think it has a great ring to it! we are also thinking about Teegan and Josephine and Joseph and Grier and Jack and a whole lot of other names. I can't wait to find out what we will call you!!!

Hi, I'm your mommy!

Hi my little bambino! Your mommy is so inventive in thinking to do this blog for you. someday you will be able to read this and know a little more about our journey and how you came to be!!!

We are so so so excited to bring you into the world and love you and snuggle you and watch you grow. We already love you so much, you mean everything to us!!

Tuesday, July 31, 2012


Well Mommy did it...She put a ring on it. Your future Mommies are getting marrriiieeeddddd. 

We talked about getting engaged before we had you and Mommy did it in the most amazing way. It was out of this world amazing...We are still floating on this high. 

Next on our list is you .... making you :)
We love you already.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Making you...

To our lil bambino...

We don't know you yet but we can't wait to meet you. 

This blog will be something that you can read someday that your Mommy and I will hopefully update frequently as we go on this journey to have you in our lives. 

We think about you all the time. Talk about you too much. and are ready to start this journey.

It's somewhat surreal that this process is in the works. Mommy keeps my in check in keeping my expectations in check which I need but I am so excited to create you, grow with you, and meet you. 

We will update as we continue through this as we are hoping and praying and waiting for you....