Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Effin hot

Spring. I loathe you. Always have. Always will.

Tulips and bunny rabbits and allergies and day light savings and 80 degree days paired with freezing nights - WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO WEAR??!!

side note - the ONLY good side to Spring is Rita's opening for the season - obvi. 

anywho - this is my least fav season out of the 4. 

Winter - hoodies, snowboarding, Guinness, stick trees, and during winter mother nature gives us permission to be lazy because by the time you warm up your car and scrape off the inch of ice encasing the windshield - the gym is closed anyway. 

Fall - MY FAV! mesh shorts and hoodies, Punkin Ale, campfires, colorful leaves, mashed potatoes, family time, windows open with cool breezes, the ability to eat slightly more than you did during the summer without feeling guilty thanks to not having to wear a bikini every day.

Summer - we get the beach and we all look marginally better than we do during the other 9 months of the year thanks to our stellar tans (spray or natural - you look better than pale) 

Now in 2013, Spring has shown me once again why I hate it. We go from a pleasant sunshine filled 55 degree day to a hot, humid, suffocating stretch of 85+ degree days. This weather is NOT wanted unless my ass is in my beach chair at the ocean's edge while I spend my days worrying about tan lines and what flavor of Kohr Brothers I want rather than getting swamp ass while standing - as I did today while wearing a DRESS. Fancy, huh!?

This heat wave may have even killed the dog. He hasn't moved in the past 30 minutes but then again he is probably remaining stationary on purpose since he is laying directly in front of my fan stealing every cool breeze that comes by. 

All I need now is for him to start passing gas and have that whack me in the face to add to my discontent with this wretched season. 

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