My growing (and damn cute) girls :)

My perfect Peyton

And my lovie Sawyer

These girls are talking, giggling, blowing raspberries, and "singing"

And also right now they are starving and yelling at me - be back soon!

15 weeks!

My lovies - you are 15 weeks old today and how freakin amazing you are!!!

You shocked the hell out of Mama and I by sleeping THROUGH THE NIGHT two times this past weekend. 
Good job doing that on the nights where Mama gets up with you. Once I was back on over night duty you returned to your 3/4am wake ups. Way to keep me on my toes ladies.

Sawyer - you spend your days smiling, talking, and singing

and 

Peyton - you spend your days smiling, grunting, and blowing raspberries. 

You amaze me everyday with how smart you are!! 

I can't wait to see what new tricks you will learn this week! 

Need vs Want

So many times I think to myself that I NEED to get the dishes done.
But I WANT to keep making Sawyer smile.

Need vs Want is a common struggle on all levels of life but it has been particularly common when it comes to these babes.

I WANT to hold them 24/7 but I NEED them to be able to soothe themselves as I cannot hold them 24/7/365.

I NEED to get them some 6 month sleepers but I WANT to get them more leg warmers and headbands. 

I NEED to sleep when they sleep but I WANT to decorate for Christmas. 

This also is a struggle when shopping before the girls arrived. Some lessons I have learned. 

You do not NEED to buy the "cheaper" one to save money because it will bite you in the ass down the road and you'll end up buying the more expensive one anyway. 

Ergo carriers - $100 - BUY IT! You may not WANT to spend the money but you will NEED it. The less expensive ones won't work as well and then you are going to end up buying an Ergo anyway and then feeling guilty about not using the other ones...and you have to then store the other ones until your guilt subsides and you sell or donate them.

Moby wraps - $60 - You NEED at least one. Trust me.

Bouncy seats - you NEED one per kid on each floor of the house. Buy 5 just to be safe.

Blankets - you do not NEED 87 cute, fluffy receiving blankets even if you WANT them. But you do NEED gallons and gallons of Dreft. Spend your money on that instead.

Swings - you NEED one per baby. Yes they are huge and will take over your house. Well worth it for the 4 minutes of peace and quiet they give you.

Now, I WANT to keep writing about need vs want and our New-Mommy-Group we went to this morning but my Peyton pie NEEDS me :) 

Baby wearin'

One of my fav things to do is snuggle my minions. 

Sometimes I feel bad that since there are two of them and one of me - paired with housework and life - that I am not snuggling them enough. 

then I remember my Ergo and Moby wrap are nearby.

I don't know why I don't wear a baby 24/7...I should. It's amazing for me...and so good for them. 


At first, I had my reservations about the Moby. How the eff can I wrap a small, wobbly headed infant into this sheet and feel safe? 

The first time I attempted to use it...I felt like this guy..

(watch the whole thing...freakin hilarious)

But with the assistance of other Youtube vids...we got it figured out and it's ammmazing. Esp for my lil Peyton Pie who need some extra snuggling during the evening hours.

We are heading to an outdoor baby wearin' workout class in a few days which I am super psyched for it and so are the girls....Sawyer tooted as soon as I told her we were going...obvi she was so excited she couldn't even hold it in.

3 MONTHS!!!!

Dear my Peyton and my Sawyer, 

HAPPY HAPPY 3 MONTH BIRTHDAY!!!!! 

(As you are getting older (and more wiggly) taking these pics is going to become more and more of a challenge. I think I enjoy the outtakes of you two wiggling and making funny faces more than the still smiling ones!)

I am more in love with you than I ever thought possible. 

Time is flying and you are becoming such amazing little girls....I do not think it is possible to explain just how wonderful you are. Somedays still feel surreal that you are here and that I get to keep you forever. Somedays I look at you and I tear up at how amazing you are.

You have had an exciting life so far. Just this past month, we went to Outfest with aunt Fitz and aunt Tatie and you both snoozed through your first gay festival. 

we celebrated your first Halloween...

and we took a trip up to the mountains with Uncle Timmy and Uncle Matty and you two were amazing. Mommy drank maybe 3 beers the whole weekend - you sure have changed our lives - in amazing ways.

You both are doing great at sleeping..typically going 4 hours between feedings and you have surprised me with a few 5-6 hour stretches. I am hoping that once we pack on a few more lbs that we can start seeing some 7 hour stretches but Mommy is going to take what she can get and love every second of sleep that you give me.

Early some mornings, I wake up before you do and I miss you! I want to come into your room and wake you up so I can snuggle you. Luckily, I have the stalker video monitor so I can peek in at you both and stare at the screen until you wake up.

You both are weighing in around 10 pounds. I bet that you, Sawyer, have at least 3 ounces on Peyton. My growing girls!!

You both LOVE mornings...you are all smiles for about 30 minutes before we have our morning botts. We workout and do some leg exercises and talk about what we have planned for the day. 

We have spent our days talking LOTS of walks with Tyson in the crisp Fall air. You girls love your walks but you sure do HATE the 2 minutes between when I get you in the stroller and get down to the sidewalk and start moving. and Oh how you hate when I stop pushing to pop around the front and take a pic of how cute you look all bundled up with your binks in your mouth. We have many stroller pics of you two yelling at me to get my ass back to work and keep pushing. The fresh air also tires you out so we WILL be walking all winter long. Peyton, you hate when I cover your hands up with the blanket so I am going to have to start putting mittens on you (which you probs will pull off)


My Peyton Pie...

My lil lovie...You are still my little snuggler. You are happy as long as Mommy or Mama are giving you 100% of their attention. You love nursing and would do it all day everyday if you could. It is amazing that when you cannot get settled, you will nurse for 10 minutes then sleep for hours! (Mommy is VERY happy for that!) 

Your personality is coming out more everyday. You LOVE your bouncy seat and you will spend 20 minutes kicking and talking to the toys that are hanging in front of you. You LOVE laying on your aquarium play mat. You especially love sucking on your fingers. Anytime I have to stop feeding you to burp Sawyer, your fingers automatically go in your mouth and you suck away! You still do love your bink especially on car and stroller rides.

You have perfected the one-raised-eye-brow look and give it to strangers often. Sometimes you fake sleeping so people don't bother you - smart lil girl you are. 

You love to grunt, groan, and stretch your legs! Usually during feeding times, you kick your legs nonstop. 

Your hair is coming in slowly but surely and you have this lil blonde peach fuzz that is oh so soft. You still have dark brown hair around the back of your head (George Costanza style) that has been there since you were born. and OH - your eye lashes - AMAZING! You have these bright blue eyes and these amazing chocolate brown eye lashes that melt my heart. 

When you cry, oh lord - are you LOUD! You let us know if you are not happy and give us about 3.2 seconds to respond before screaming. You're a girl that knows what she wants (just like Mommy!)

You tend to spit up the minute I take your bib off so that results in lots of wardrobe changes for you! Luckily, we have outfits on standby at all times. 

Your thighs are getting so chubby and Mommy is hoping you beef up even more. 

You are my perfect lil Peyton Pie...I love you more than chocolate chip cookies. 

My Sawyer Bean...

My charismatic lil Soybean...oh how wonderful you are. You are still wide eyed and LOVE looking around to see everything around you. You turn your head from side to side like a champ.

You LOVE watching tv and will yell at Mommy if I turn you in a direction where you cannot see it. 

Your hair is oh so amazing...You have this lil blonde spikey hair that is just like your cousin Christophers. I spike it up after every bath. Your bright blue eyes get bigger and brighter everyday! 

You love to snuggle but will let us know if you want to be left alone. I put you in your swing and you snuggle right in and take a snooze. Lately, you have loved taking naps on your belly and Mommy is psyched for when you and Peyton learn to roll over which hopefully will mean longer sleep cycles over night. 

You LOVE your bott and HATE when I have to burp you. You scream until I get that bottle back in your mouth. You're a feisty one lil Soy bean and I LOVE that about you. 

You love our walks and usually stay awake the whole time.

You still love to be swaddled every night. A few times you have gotten out of your swaddle and then wake up screaming because you are whacking yourself in the head. The past few mornings you have gotten up early so I bring you into bed with me and you snuggle right back to sleep. 

Your bink is still your best friend. Anytime you are sad or bored, bink makes it all better. Mommy got you some purple and pink binks which you love. 

You are my perfect lil Soy Bean and I love you more than Starbucks.



We are gearing up for your first Thanksgiving and Christmas. I cannot wait to get our tree up and decorated - I know you two will spend hours staring at the twinkly lights. 

Also coming is flu season and I am on red alert to keep you away from any and all germs. I even got little signs for your car seats that ask strangers to not touch. Neurotic - yes but necessary. We went grocery shopping the other day and one lady stopped to admire how perfect you both are (naturally) and Sawyer, you spit your bink out...before I could even react, she was reaching her hand in your car seat to put your bink back in your mouth. I just about pounced on her and told her to not touch my babies...Face it - your Mommy is a germ-a-phobe - a well-warranted germ-a-phobe at that. We will be doing health screenings before anyone is allowed to hold you to make sure they are healthy...just kidding (not really kidding) I need my little loves to stay healthy. You will have plenty of opportunities to roll your eyes on my neurotic ways as we continue through life together but for now, I call the shots :) 

I love you my girls. I hope I am being the best Mommy possible to you both. I cannot wait to spend the next years with you. 

12 weeks!

I remember back when I used to blog about how far along I was in my pregnancy week by week....my god that feels like YEARS ago! 

Now, I am lucky enough to blog about the lives of my lil minions week by week.....soooo HAPPY 12 WEEKS LADIES!!!!!! You are getting so big and so amazing. 

and you are doing so good sleeping....some 5 and 6 hour stretches...but you keep us on our toes by some nights only doing 3 and 4 hour stretches but none-the-less, you're amazing!

We had a great October filled with many snuggles from family and friends, a weekend trip to the Poconos with your fav Uncles and we celebrated your first Halloween.

Peyton - you threw up all over your costume the minute I put it on you so that was fun...luckily our washer has a speed wash setting so 40 mins later you were back in your costume looking so cute! 

My lil skeletons!

 Such lil cuties!

You both are smiling and talking to us like crazy!!

and now you both are screaming for my attention...be back soon!

Wednesday

Happy 11 weeks to my lil ladies....You're amazing to me :) 

Amazing....and devious ;) I'll explain why.

While I am loving this SAHM gig, some days are tough...and messy...and sleepless...and that day was today.

Erin and I fed the girls at 10pm last night and surprisingly they both ate 4 ounces at this feed. Typically the last feed of the night is a tough one and they usually do 2-3 ounces but shit, if those 2-3 ounces buy me an extra hour or two of sleep - i'll force gently encourage them to eat as much as possible.

I went to bed hoping for at least 4-5 hours of sleep. I also had made the decision to stop pumping. This was a tough decision for me to make as my hopes all throughout my pregnancy were to exclusively breastfeed for at least the first 4-5 months but with tiny babies, and after a month of trying - that proved to not be in the books for us. Luckily, Peyton will nurse to soothe herself and I am pumping enough for 1 baby so luckily again, our girls are on 50% formula and 50% breast milk. 

Pumping is taking up so much time of my day and I am finding that it is stressing me out too much as it is taking time away from my girls. I will be laying there with one of them snuggled on me but my mind wanders and I get anxious that I have to pump. I was ready to give this up...I know I tried my best and I would rather spend these months with 100% of my attention on my girls rather than being hooked up to a machine. So Erin and I talked and decided that we would move towards 100% formula. Upon getting into bed, I was praying for sleep and was having trouble falling asleep as I was worried if giving up pumping was the best decision (head case much?) 

Anywho - the girls slept until 5am....freakin amazing....We got up...They each ate 3 ounces and after one gigantic throw up due to Sawyer falling asleep with a bit of formula in her mouth then gagging herself...we all got tucked back into bed by 630am and slept until 8am...GREAT NIGHT!

I knew I had plans tonight to head out to dinner with fellow Mom's of Multiples so on my agenda today was to pack for our weekend trip and enjoy my ladies.

I woke up with my bubbies ready to burst due to stopping pumping and knew that this would be the case for the next few days....long story short - my neurotic mind got the best of me and after about 30 texts back and forth with Er...I changed my mind about stopping pumping and scrambled to pump before having to feed the girls again. 

But of course - I had just put my hands free pumping bra in the laundry so I paused the washer while it was still on the spin cycle and dug out my bra...ran back upstairs to put on an ice cold, dripping wet bra and start pumping before my bubbies exploded. 

Pumped for a good 15 minutes and by that time, both of my minions were yelling at me to feed them. 

We got set up on our boppies and the feed commenced. Both girls did their usual I-AM-STARVING-FEED-ME-NOW followed by I-ATE-TWO-OUNCES-NOW-I-WILL-SLEEP. 
so the rest of the feed continued slowly...but they each got in about 3.5 ounces...not great but I'll take it.
I put Sawyer up on my shoulder to burp and this gigantic-500-pound-man-sized burp comes out followed by a GALLON of formula/saliva spewing all over her and the couch, and down my shirt, pants, underwear, etc

WONDERFUL!

I sprint us to the kitchen in attempt to avoid leaving even more vomit all over the house. 
Strip us both in the kitchen (sorry neighbors!) and grab a few hundred wipes to half-ass clean us both up.

Meanwhile, Peyton is left on the boppy to fend for herself which pisses her off to no end and I am pretty sure I heard her scream at me, "WTF MOM  - WHERE'S MY BOTT???"

New diaper and onesie in place and we sprint back to the living room. 

Of course I am still naked as there is no time to run upstairs and grab some clothes for myself. 

We continue the feed and my only focus was now for NAP TIME. OH GLORIOUS NAP TIME. Both girls are milk drunk so we make our way upstairs (still naked) and I get both girls swaddled in their cribs....they lay down and start snoozing. 

I figured I have an hour-ish to finish the laundry, pack up some stuff for the weekend, and hopefully eat something.

oh, and get some clothes on. 

I grab the laundry out of the dryer and head upstairs to fold it and as soon as I get to the second floor..the screaming commences. First Peyton....then Sawyer...I go in and soothe them both without picking them up in hopes that they learn to self soothe.

They both drift off to sleep. 

I run downstairs - make a quick grilled cheese....run back up to fold laundry and within minutes, screaming again. 

Peyton started it which woke Sawyer so both of them then were in full blown 'I'm having a shit fit mode'  I gave them 10 minutes of screaming before going in. Took Peyton out of the room and laid her in the middle of my bed....Sawyer quickly drifted off to sleep. 

Peyton starts to fade....I pick up my grilled cheese and the screaming starts again. 

Listen ladies, I know I need to get in shape but Mommy HAS to eat. 

Peyton starts...then Sawyer. I give up and we head back downstairs to nap in the swings. They love their swings..I figured this would be the solution....WRONG.

Both screaming. Only content when being held. 

I grab my Moby wrap and throw gently place Peyton in it who starts then nursing through my bra. God damn girl...give me TWO minutes here to get situated. I get her hooked up and pick up Sawyer to rock her.

One babe in the Moby nursing...the other being held...and mind you - I AM STILL NAKED (other than a bra) 

THANK GOD the mailman came earlier in the day or he may have been scarred for life. 

Niether babe ever slept....unless they were on me but since their are TWO of them and only one of me...and seeing as how they still don't have full control of their arms/hands/legs which are always flailing about...two almost 10 pound babes laying on me means that they are kicking and knocking binks out of each others mouths pretty much every 3-5 seconds so this was another FAIL of the day. 

My poor grilled cheese was 2 hours old by the time I ate it. 

Still was delic. 

I feed them again (thankfully I am clothed this time) and put them both in the swings and they drift off to sleep.

Erin comes home to a frazzled wife who has yet to shower, brush her teeth, or talk to another adult yet today. 

Of course now all seems calm and she is left to wonder wtf is the big deal as both of her lil angels are snoozin away and not making a peep.

Well played ladies...Keep that wool pulled over Mama's eyes....Mommy knows you're devising your next move.

Oh - forgot to mention....Sawyer pooped 3 times today...and Peyton 2 times...so I am sure there is dried poop on me somewhere.

What a day :) 

Time for some adult beverages....and to my dear twins, if you're planning to pull some crazy shit tonight, do it between now and before I get home at 10pm...Mama needs to be put to the test ;)