Laughter tears

Our first injection went perfect. The wifey did amazing - obvi had some nerves over hurting me which resulted in nonstop laughter and laughter tears throughout the entire experience - was amazing. I would post the vid but it is on the wifeys phone - I'll get it up eventually. 

Back to the doc tomorrow! Then probably again early next week...I still need to figure out this whole work situation with having doc appts every other day...

We are off to get our Christmas tree tonight...Such a great time of year this is..I LOVE it..the only thing that would make it perfect is having a bambino to share our lives with..... but for now we will enjoy hoodies, snow, winter beers, smuggling...not to mention the abundance of weekend trips we have planned to see the Rocketts, the Nutcracker - all plans are pending our IVF cycle which we will not know definitely until we get further into this cycle but if we have to miss anything - it will be well worth it on this journey towards meeting our bambino.

and I am sure a snowboarding trip in there at some point but HOPEFULLY I will be sidelined this season....one can dream :) 

Day 1

Our appt yesterday was fantastic! We had the most amazing IVF nurse break down all of our injections for us - THANK JEEBUS because all the mixing and injecting definitely would have had my confused if it wasn't for this appt. 

We also had our first IVF u/s. I was on cycle day 1 and the nurse was happy w/ what she saw! We will be back again on Friday (cycle day 4) for u/s and blood work. 

She also asked what our history was and we explained 4 unsuccessful IUI's, clomid, ovidrel, etc and she told us that it can be very difficult to ever get prego on clomid with the IUI success rates being so low. We told her how we discussed moving to IUI w/ injectables but decided to come right to IVF since it has such higher success rates. She loved and agreed w/ our decision 100% which is beyond comforting as this IVF journey is INTENSE! 

Even though we have been patients at our fertility clinic for months now, IVF is a complete different ball game. Different nurses...different schedules.... ALL are wonderful - just an adjustment to make. I will miss my IUI nurses! 

and we're off!!! This is OUR month :))

Appointments...appointments...appointments

To start off I have to reiterate that I am loving that we are on this journey of making our bambino..it still feels surreal at times. Every day I think about the day when we will meet our bambino and begin our journey as parents. 

I am lucky that I work part time while I am working on my Masters full time so my schedule is some-what flexible. And by flexible, I mean I usually have Fridays off and typically my cycle has put me in the doc on Fridays so it has been easy. Now, with IVF, all that will change and I still don't know how I am going to balance work and doc appts every other day but deep breath - it will all work out. 

I can not fathom being on this journey while working full time. It feels as if everyday there are appointments!!!! Whether its a doc appt for blood work and u/s, or an appt at Quest for blood work and a pee test, getting scripts filled, phone calls weekly to our insurance and prescription company. I cannot imagine making these calls from an office, sitting in my cubicle, talking on the phone about what cycle day I am on and how the hormones are giving me hot flashes and the huge injection needle that needs to get administered into my butt tonight. It is NONSTOP!

Luckily, my extreme anil-ness allows me to successfully get everything done and keep organized but crap - it is a lot!

Another addendum...how the heck does anyone pee in that little cup without peeing on their hand? I am becoming a seasoned veteran at this and still cannot master the skill. 

This is all worth it to one day meet our amazing, lil bambino :)

BFN...AF...IVF

Well the dreaded BFN popped up this past weekend when I tested 11 days post IUI...and AF today....

So here we are kickin off our IVF journey...Appt tomorrow to learn about giving myself injections...and injections should start tomorrow or Wednesday...

I know I have said it before but this is such an amazing, roller-coaster of a journey that we are on...I never imagined that we would go down the IVF path but here we are...We are confident, scared, and excited all rolled into one...

Deep breath. 

6 days post-IUI #4

Per the usual, this 2ww feels like the LONGEST 2 weeks of our lives. Thankfully we have been overly busy w/ work, school, travels to see friends and family that while that 'what-if' is always on our minds, we have been doing great at keeping busy and keeping the stress down!

Erin still swears this time is it...and I want to agree w/ her so much! I just do not know...maybe after the past 3 failed IUI's it is hard to muster up that much hope? I feel completely normal - which I know is no indication of if it was success or not but I wish there was some sign that could happen to give me a hint of the outcome - whether it be negative or positive. 

I have been exhausted lately which I blame on the fact that I decided to work on 2 Masters degrees at once and take on 4 classes plus work plus life but I LOVE it.

We keep talking about what an amazing journey we are on and so lucky we are to have each other on this journey...

I am beyond lucky. 

Here's to hoping for a BFP this month!!! 

Post-Orientation

Before dawn this morning we were on the road to our IVF orientation. It is only about 30 minutes away but with the standard, daily, unexplainable Philly traffic it has taken us over an hour somedays so at 5:40a.m. we were out the door! 

We had an amazing nurse who told us everything we needed to know and was beyond helpful and informative. I learned so much in only an hour of my life! Such a process IVF is. We are still HOPING that we will not have to cross that bridge but at least if we do, we know what we are doing.

After the appt, I spent over an hour on the phone w/ our insurance company and prescription plan company to see what we are and are not covered for.  All I can now say is that we are unbelievably lucky! The majority of IVF will be covered for us!!!! Oh happy dance!! :)  If it were not covered, we would not be proceeding with it as the injectable meds run about $8,000 a month. I do not get how anyone can afford this!!! It seems unimaginable! My heart goes out to everyone TTC via IVF who hit this financial road block.... 

We are so lucky and I am so beyond thankful that we are covered. Out of the IVF injectable meds (Lupron, Bravelle, Follistim, Gonal F, and Menopur) all are covered except Lupron. Not sure why that one is not covered but hopefully one of the other four will work for us! 

So that is where we are at on this journey! 

Spending all of our time hoping for our BFP this month!! 

Orientation

2 days into IUI #4 2ww and feeling great...keeping hopes high and positive thoughts nonstop!!

Tomorrow we are going for our IVF orientation JUST IN CASE...

Going tomorrow for orientation will mean that we will be ready to take our first IVF attempt next month, if needed. We will be meeting w/ a nurse and given a tour of the facility and have blood work taken, etc etc. Should be a great experience to learn so much about a practice that my info is very limited on.

It still seems surreal that we are on this journey...I think back to our first appointment with our fertility doc and it feels like years ago...when really it was just about 6 months ago..but still we have learned so much in the past 6 months and grown so much...We have dreamed of it being our month..and hopefully this month is it!!

We are going away next weekend for our anniversary and we will find out if this IUI took the day we are leaving ... fingers crossed we will be celebrating!!! 

#4

IUI #4 went off flawlessly! Timing was perfect and I was ovulating per what the ultrasound showed as we were in the office. Major props to our fertility doc for keeping such a close eye on us. The past 3 IUI's have been timed perfectly. 

THIS WILL WORK...keep saying it over and over again in my head. I am off to get acupuncture again this afternoon...My acupuncturist is a huge advocate of pre and post treatments which I love as I feel it does relax and cause me to take a step back and get myself centered. Also, any increased blood flow to the uterus is more than welcome to help this bambino :)

I feel good post-IUI...crampy and would rather spend the day lounging around but the duties of life are calling! 

So we are about 3 hours into the 2ww and we are ALREADY over anxious and going silly, crazy to find out if this is OUR MONTH! 

Later this week we have an appt with the IVF specialists to learn more about IVF and tour the facility as just in case this is not our month, we will proceed with IVF next month.

Fingers crossed....hoping nonstop....

xxo

TOMORROW!

Appointment yesterday went great! Still a bit early - LH was at 11.2  - typically ovulation begins when LH is around a 12 so tomorrow is the day! 

Acupuncture appointment tonight and will be having broc with dinner and surprisingly I am still not sick of it.

Even if there is no major scientific evidence to support that broc or any of these fertility boosting foods that I have been ingesting really help with the success of IUI's - It helps me feel better about it and has caused me to be more conscious about what I am putting into my bod  .... doing everything with our bambino in mind :)

We have discussed further our options if this IUI does not work and have decided that we will move onto IVF. We are beyond lucky and our insurance will cover 4 IVFs. Obvi we still will have to buy our sperm but insurance stepping in is making a HUGE difference. They also cover IUI's so this IUI will be covered. 

While our financial situation does not dictate this journey we are on, it helps out a great deal to not have to be as concerned about money.

Outside of doc appts we are loving life and having a great time....we keep imagining that maybe this NYE we will just hang at home as we will be prego...or how maybe we will be able to give everyone a Christmas surprise of telling them we are expecting....it seems like a dream that someday soon we may be able to do that....

I feel different this IUI. Not sure why but the wifey agreed that she did too...maybe over optimistic? maybe just thinking positive! or maybe this is OUR TURN!

xxo

4th IUI update

Appointment Friday went well! Still early - as expected! 

3 follies on the left measuring 13,12,9 and 1 on the right measuring 19.

Heading back tomorrow for another u/s and blood work and possible IUI depending on blood work results from yesterday..

We discussed w/ our doc what our next step will be if this IUI does not work - IVF or injectables? Our amazing doc who treats us as if we were his daughters advised to move on to injectables so that is the course we will HOPEFULLY not have to take as this WILL BE our month!!!!!

Will update after tomorrow's appt! Such an exciting journey this is :)

4 more years!

While this seems like the LONGEST wait for a Dr. appt EVER, at least this is an amazing and memorable week in taking strides towards our country getting stronger and your Mommy and I being able to be legally married!!!

2 more days until our first appt for IUI #4....u/s and blood work then IUI to follow...cannot come soon enough!!!! 

Hoping this is OUR month :)

Keep Calm and Carry On

Why does the wait between getting your BFN to when you go back to the doctor to try again this month feel like a WEEKS upon WEEKS! 

But here we are...first u/s in 4 days - which will be early so I think we will be back Sunday for another check...then IUI possibly Monday or Tuesday. 

The increased level of Clomid is not affecting me at all. A few hot flashes here and there - a small price to pay for hopefully bringing our bambino into this world soon! 

Hopefully this week goes by quick...

Smuggling

So, I'm here at work smuggling this my lil 'charge' and omg baby snuggles = amazingness. Such an amazing feeling keeping this lil dude so warm as he falls to sleep on me.
I CANNOT wait to be smuggling on my own lil bambino...and especially cannot wait to see my wifey smuggling our lil bambino.
Such an amazing feeling I am sure it is going to be! 

Starting Clomid aka hot flash pills tomorrow! First u/s in a week - fingers crossed for big, strong follies and a successful IUI to follow!