Things to never forget....

There are so many things I have forgotten already on this journey of motherhood...and I am only 19 months in! I cannot even fathom how many things I am going to forget as the days, months, and years pass by...I am sad already at the thought of forgetting all of my girls little -isms that make my heart swell everyday...

just a few...

Peyton..you are so tough on Sawyer sometimes..you love to boss her around...other times, you are the sweetest sister to her. When Sawyer is upset and throws a toy out of anger..you sprint to pick up that toy and give it back to her. Most times - she is still angry and just throws it again..but you're right there to pass it back to her again to try and make her feel better. You are amazing.

Sawyer..you are such a little snuggler..when you lay on me your entire little bod relaxes and I just feel you snuggle in. You take your hands and tuck them down under your belly and snuggle into my neck..I want you to do this forever. It is the sweetest feeling in the whole world.

Both of you LOVE sitting in my lap. I cross my legs and you both fight over who gets to sit there. We take turns and you both get ample time to snuggle in ..sometimes you stay until you're done drinking your milk..sometimes you stay for 30 minutes...it is amazing. I hope you always want to snuggle in with me.

that oh so sweet baby smell...after I tuck you two in for the night and mama and I get some time to relax, I always go back in your rooms and give you another good night kiss and make sure your all snuggled in. The second I open the doors to each of your rooms I am hit with this warm, sweet baby smell ... a smell I dream about when I am not with you. It is the most amazing smell in the world...I'd bottle it up if I could. 

I could go on and on but per the usual..I must run and prep for our after 'tasks' of painting the porch with water and paint brushes...and blowing bubbles.. love you my lovies! 

Nap strike day 2

Naps yesterday started out normal. Both nugs will fill bellies, clean diapers, snuggles and into cribs they went.

Off to dreamland Peyton went

Then a few minutes later after some serious convos with her giraffe, Sawyer went off to sleep as well 

Mommy bliss mode starts - I get to pee, eat, and clean up without 4 hands grabbing at me 

For 22 minutes - then my little on strike napper begins to yell 

Up I go and toss her into my bed and she snuggles back to dreamland 

Now I could careless where my girls sleep as long as they sleep so they are welcome in my bed at anytime  as long as they sleep 

My little Pie is getting smarter each day and even in her sleepy state she recalled at frugal attempts to exit the room once she was asleep so the sleeping death grip on my hand was locked into place 

I'd cut off of my before waking this perfect sleeping babe so I was forced to relax for 25 minutes. It was amazing 

Now today, an hour and 20 minutes into nap time my Peyton was up and sometimes her and Sawyer only nap for an hour so I go up and expect her to be up for the afternoon but her sleep eyes told me she needed something else ...

So here we are. All snuggled in mommies bed again 

Yay for sleep! 

I really wish Sawyer was snuggling with us ... I'd love to go in and scoop her up and have her fall right back to sleep next to me but we all know that is an impossible feat and I'm pretty sure I'd get my mommy card revoked if I woke

a sleeping toddler for the sole purpose of wanting snuggles. 

But I miss this little face ...

Back to relaxing with my Pie :)

Nap strike

My little Peyton has decided she doesn't need to nap today   

I have decided that she doesn't get to make this decision until she is at least 5 years old.  Naps are needed. 

I succombed after countless attempts to get her to sleep in her crib and pulled her into my bed and off to dream land she goes. I have attempted to slink away 87 times so far but she is a wise little nugget even in her sleep and can tell I am leaving so she pops up and waves hi. If I lay back down, she goes right back to sleep. I cannot believe an 18 month old can manipulate and control me. (I totally can believe it and I admit it daily that they own me but I feel obligated to show some sense of astonishment at just how badly they own me? Right?!) 

I cannot turn off my brain and just relax as I keep thinking about the frozen spinach I have defrosting downstairs to make spinach burgers and if I don't make them now then I won't get to make them until after the girls go to bed and then what will we eat for dinner? 

And I have a gigantic load of laundry to fold that has been fluffed up in the dryer 4 times now but I have yet to empty it.  

Also - is the back door open? Is Tyson outside? Does Tyson even live here anymore?  

And I really need to submit that receipt to our flex spend account for insurance and oh I need to schedule the girls 24 month check ups - omg they are almost 2 

Brain ..... SHUT UP!!

Okay I'm done now ....  Going to stare at this beautiful, perfect little human I created who is snoozing next to me 

Ps - the second I put my phone down and started swooning over my sleeping Peyton ....  I hear Sawyer wake up over the monitor and just like that my "break" is over 😊 it's okay - totally worth it to have these two nuggets by my side 24/7

Body

Cindy Crawford did a photoshoot this week for Marie Claire that was not airbrushed at all   Props to her. She's gorgeous without photoshop and her body still looks amazing. 

This got me thinking how so many moms are sprinting to the gym immediately after deliver to get their pre-baby body back and that really makes me sad. Whether the need to get that pre-baby body back is self inflicted or pushed upon you by society - either way, it sucks. 

Maybe I am just lazy - but I have no desire to get my pre-baby body back. 

My life with never be pre-baby again, so why should my body be?

My day to day, minute to minute, second to second will never be pre-baby again so why should my body be? 

Granted my clothes may still fit but they fit very differently to the point that I may not want to wear them - but my home is now full - of babes laughing and screaming and crying and playing and crumbs and boogies and puke so why should my mind be worried about or focused on my pre-baby body when my life is so far from pre-baby? 

and someday, I want my girls to know that this body was lucky enough to carry them, grow them, and nurture them for 36 weeks and 3 days so why would I want to change that? Or erase that it ever happened? 

Granted my pre-baby body probably could not sustain on this lifestyle that I lead of eating when I am lucky enough to shove in a few bites, sleeping in 35 minute increments - all night, every night- so major props to my post-baby body for sustaining this far. We got a ways to go...and I know we got this ;)

Sunday at the zoo

We bundled up and went down to the philly zoo this past weekend. In my desperate attempt to avoid germs, we spent the majority of the day outside.  It was a great time had by all.  You ran outside in the sunshine and we still aren't sure if you saw a single animal (aside from the goats) but still it was fantastic. 

You two nuggets even made a friend named Josephine - sociable little ladies that you are. 

Anyway - my NyQuil is kicking in so this is about all I have to add right now but enjoy some pics from your January zoo trip at 17 (almost 18) months old!

(Peyton you hated the goats and wouldn't let me put you down (I loved the extra snuggles!) Sawyer, I'm pretty sure you wanted to bring a goat home with you)

Germs

Well, we got sick. Yet again.  And again 

Colds, ear infections, random puking, sleepless nights and with all that happening - this blog went to shit. 

But really everything I did for the past 2 weeks was summed up in the first 2 lines of this post so that's really all the catching up I have to do! 

I hope we are on the mend and that we can get through the rest of this winter season with minimal illnesses (puking toddlers I'm pretty sure is one of the 7 layers of hell)

Despite being sick and cranky - they nuggets get cuter and more creative with each day! 

One day this week it was freezing out but with the sunshine it felt somewhat warm so we bundled up and walked a few blocks - we pet puppies and ate snow and probs only ate a tiny bit of dirty as we dissected those melting snow piles - I'm sure dirt is organic and somewhat healthy, right?

I brought my phone to take pics of you two strolling around town but I obviously was having a complete dumbass moment by thinking I would even have a few hand to take a pic - nevertheless, you both were adorable! 

Here you are bundled up ready for a quick stroll to get mommy some much needed caffeine ... 

Little baby leopards with ruffle butts - doesn't get much cuter than that right there! 

Sawyer was trying to spring Peyton from the stroller during one of our 5 doc appts in the past few weeks....and both nugs were extremely happy that I let them have binks outside of their cribs .... But when babes are sick they can pretty much do whatever they want. 

Now let's stay healthy girls - and keep on being your amazing selves!

Feburary

Well, we got sick - then we got sick again....now KNOCK ON FREAKIN WOOD - the girls are healthy!!!! I swear to god - if I cannot keep these girls healthy ( and active and therefore keeping myself sane) for at least a few weeks I may will lose my shit. 

Now, I am fighting an annoying cold but I'll deal with this for months if it keeps the girls healthy. 

The puking went on for so long that now the girls see the designated puke cup and fake puke into it and then laugh. Real funny nugs...I am the one doing countless loads of puke drenched laundry over the past weeks....enough is enough. Let's stay healthy! 

We have lots coming up this month that we need to stay healthy for...music classes, playgroups, swimming, fam parties, visits from friends...we need to be healthy! 

Do I sound redundant?? Neurotic much?? Hell yes..I'm sick of my babes being sick.

and that god-damn, fat ass, lazy, mother-effin groundhog saw his shadow today so winter will continue for 6 more weeks. Eff you Puxatawney Phil.

Lately you both have been super whiney and super clingy...it is not terrible..just tough sometimes. aaannddd it can be so hard to hear whining ALL DAY EVERY DAMN DAY! I am blaming it on molars, canines, and just overall unsettledness as you have not felt great in a few weeks....this too shall pass.

At the same time, you are super sweet..super snuggly...super lovey and I wouldn't change it for the world. 

You both are talking nonstop...all day long you ask me "whass sat?" (what's that?) It is amazing. 

Some days you two are the only people who I talk to so actually having "conversations" is quite fulfilling. 

Anyway, I'm off to enjoy my inch of wine before it's my bed time...these days I stay up a solid 60 minutes after I put you to bed ... wild mommmy, I know.